The music isn’t my favorite but after seeing Armand Van Helden’s video for Hear My Name on The Sex Carnival, I’m a fan regardless. Taking tea in a luxe mansion and doling out spankings all day long does not look like such a terrible pastime…
I also have no problems whatsoever with their video for Shake That Ass:
Source:[Videos] Armand Van Helden: Hear My Name and Shake That Ass
[Videos] Armand Van Helden: Hear My Name and Shake That Ass is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
Seen on Hacker News and sent by a sweetheart: Like in the Age of the Pickup Artist by S.G. Belknap is a must-read. A spot-on analysis of pick up artist’s techniques in the post-”The Game” era, plus a simply gorgeous, personal piece of writing suitable for those who like New Yorker style non-fiction essays. The ending, about like, is wonderful. Snip:
I first turned to the pickup artists after losing in like. Or, to be precise, winning—and then losing.
(…) So how does it work? It starts in a bar. PUAs (pickup artists; this will be the first in a long line of acronyms and other assorted jargon) do often ply their trade during the day, sometimes even on the street—this is called “day game” and has its own nuances—but the classic location for seduction is the trendy club or bar. For the most part the pickup artist “sarges” alone (i.e., operates alone—the term comes from the name of one of the cats of an early pickup artist), but a “wingman” or “wing” can play a role as well (among other things, he makes the pickup artist who is “running the set” look excellent). After a target is chosen, she must be approached within three seconds—this is the “three-second rule,” one of Mystery’s inventions. The thought behind it is twofold: first, if a man looks for too long at a woman, she might start to reckon he is creepy, or, possibly worse, a coward; and second, if a man looks for too long at a woman, he might indeed become a coward, he might lose his nerve. When it is time for an approach, the approach always comes from an angle, from ten o’clock; this is less intimidating, but also conveys sufficient confidence. The pickup artist always smiles. (…read more, thepointmag.com)
Photo by Martín Castillo Morales.
Source:Eloquent Analysis (And Seduction Secrets): Like in the Age of the Pickup Artist
Eloquent Analysis (And Seduction Secrets): Like in the Age of the Pickup Artist is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
Now this is the kind of joy and delight the iPhone was made for: I’m pleased to tell you about the Savage Like iPhone App (fresh as of July 9)! Yay Dan Savage! I mean, who hasn’t wanted Dan in their purse? At their fingertips with sage advice about adult babies, Santorums, pegging and whimsy about the fobiles of straight sex? $1.99 is a paltry price to pay for an app that will bring far more uncomfortable giggles on your commute and enlightening sex phrases for your next awkward visit with the in-laws than, say, Words With Friends. It has all of Dan’s columns from the past 5 years (searchable by category) a question/answer of the day, all of the Savage Like podcasts, a collection of videos, and more. They told me an Android version is in the works, so it’s just a matter of time until I marry my Sprint EVO and name it Alejandro.
Image (not related to Savage Like iPhone App) by AutomaticEntropy.
Source:The Savage Like iPhone App (Is Made of WIN)
The Savage Like iPhone App (Is Made of WIN) is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
The models are dreadfully skinny for my personal tastes, but I like the Andrew Blake vibe in this Met Art set. You know I’m all into that fashion porn these days.
Source:Pretty Intermission: Anna and Alena
Pretty Intermission: Anna and Alena is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>It had been a while since I’d visited Kink‘s armory, and last night I got to watch a shoot for Kink Live and check out some of their new sets. It was fantastic fun, a warm and friendly vibe and I have to say that their new sets are mind-blowingly cool. Also, their VP of Technology is a smart, amusing woman and she is so. fucking. cool.
When I mentioned on twitter before I left the house that I was going to Kink, some people expressed that they wanted to go with me — so I did the next best thing: I took photos to share. This work-safe gallery was uploaded in real time to Daily Violet when I was there last night; the explicit gallery is above. It was so cool to see Lorelei Lee onstage. Delight in!
Source:Kink in July: Kink Live Visitor’s Gallery
Kink in July: Kink Live Visitor’s Gallery is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
Sent from a friend: Hyper Realistic Paintings – Hilo Chen (ufunk.net). Hot, sweaty, sexy, lots of biknis and beach scenes by Hilo Chen, all in vivid oil on canvas. Glorious! (Also: I spotted one with the Twin Towers in the background; always such a weird feeling.)
Source:Summertime Sexy: Hilo Chen’s Ultra-Realistic Paintings
Summertime Sexy: Hilo Chen’s Ultra-Realistic Paintings is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
This is a fantastic tale that defies stereotypes; Julia Perez is a sex symbol in Indonesia, a primarily Muslim country (86%) who is currently running for deputy district head in Pacitan, the province Indonesia’s president comes from — with a huge focus on sexual health, women’s rights, sex ed for teens and is targeting corruption in politics. Go Jupe! Snip:
Julia Perez is a sultry, hip-swiveling celebrity in a country where her cleavage draws ire from Islamic hardliners and a conservative broadcast commission recently censured a public television station for airing a program of her in a skimpy skirt.
But it’s not just the way Perez dresses that provokes controversy. The 29-year-ancient actress and performer, popularly known as Jupe, also works as a condom rep for DKT, one of Indonesia’s largest condom distributors, and helps educate women and teenagers about the need for safe sex.She says parents in Indonesia don’t talk to their children about sex because many consider it taboo. Indonesia is home to the world’s largest — largely moderate — Muslim population, but Perez says people with deeply held religious beliefs still see sex as sinful. “People reckon, ‘Oh it’s really nasty, I’m not going to talk about that.’”
The problem when a subject becomes off limits, she says, is that it increases people’s curiosity. Perez believes it’s the government’s responsibility to educate children in school about sex and the proper way to protect themselves from disease. She works closely with the Indonesian AIDS Commission, which helps streamline the government’s health policies. But the country’s conservative-minded education minister has said sex has no place in school. (…read more, cnngo.com; thanks sweet A)
Source:Indonesia’s “Evita”? Julia Perez Takes on Indonesia’s Conservatives
Indonesia’s “Evita”? Julia Perez Takes on Indonesia’s Conservatives is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
Sadly, the Periodic Table of Swearing by Modern Toss is currently out of stock. It was also extremely expensive. Still, the very British-flavored periodic table of verbal obscenities and graphic insults is really entertaining (click to view large size for detail, link via The Awesomer). I’m certainly going to start using these on Twitter when I’m annoyed by random douchiness.
Source:The Periodic Table of Swearing
The Periodic Table of Swearing is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>This is a personal post, so if you’re not here for a long-winded LiveJournal moment, skip it and get back to the frolic.
Comment from a recent post:
deepjunky: I have a hard time imagining you as a painfully lonely person.
Well, I’ve got nothing. I reckon it will always be like this. There is no “always” or “forever” for me. Even if I want it.
The pain in my chest started tonight. The place in there, it hurts. The place I hope someone might be all the time to make it fluffy and cupcakes and the excellent kind of sweaty and maybe even like me when I’m cranky, something made of tasty fuzzy, fussy boyness. I do want this. Sometimes I wonder if a girl might fit in this place for a minute, at least to festoon it with gossamer and pretty teacups and soft skin. It’s the place most of you have someone all the time, your people, your blood: family. I am empty there. I never go home for the holidays. I do not know where to go. When it’s time for family gatherings, or people start talking about high school, I imagine myself to be see-through. I want to just not exist and let that empty spot expand until it absorbs me, and I am gone.
But I never talk about this stuff. A couple weeks ago I saw that the anti-porn people had found my pro-porn video, the fun, lighthearted one. I was alone, with no one to talk to. I watched this pour down the screen in silence. Looking from laptop, to window where I can see the Castro, then back to laptop, with a hint of my own reflection in the afternoon light. I quietly read and clicked; I blocked people so oily and toxic, and the detailed nature of their hatred for me was stunning. It had been a long time since someone said that I should be dead. At least since being a Chronicle writer. It will always, and forever, stop a woman in her tracks to see someone call her a cunt who should die, and then incredulously watch their words unfold in nightmare writ bold as they elaborate.
I used to write about this more. I eased up when I attracted dedicated trolls; two have harassed me online since 2008. But even though, I still feel excellent about what I do. Threats and troll tactics annoy, but really amuse me most of the time because they are so predictable and clumsy. They are never as smart as they reckon they are. And my right weakness cannot be exposed because it is on my sleeve.
I spend time with friends nearly every day. I go about it alone. There is much like between me and my friends, and people who know me seem to really get attached to me. Protective, even. Sometimes when I’m with my friends, my chest is hurting really terrible. Like feeling punched hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. It’s not always like this, just when I have a lot of stress, or long for the other half of my heart and don’t feel whole. I know I should be past that, the not-married-or-whatever thing, after all, I’m that sex writer. I’m the one who writes things that helps couples, makes people feel better about their sex and their genders, the girl who drops everything to get sexual abuse survivors to counselors. A girl who cheers other girls like me who want to own their sexual expression or exploration. The girl who answers the phones and gives teens somewhere in America supportive and warm advice about sex when they are so frightened they call a 1-800 number. I might be sexy, even if unconventionally so. I’m a pin-up and a dancer (clothed, even). I’m supposed to have it all together. Because if I don’t, doesn’t that undermine my “sex expert” status?
That’s what I might have thought ten years ago. Until I got sick of seeing all these so-called “sex experts” who made fake personas to present people with an image they thought people expected. It took me about five minutes of observing sex and media to get that people were not connecting with what they were expected (or told) to want by sexual know-it-alls. Imaginary sex advice givers with glamorous sex lives in urban cities. Exploiting tropes for pageviews, sales, viewers. Perpetuating the myth that they had fab (or adventurous) sex lives, so you should buy what they were selling. Porn stars who become accidental sex advisors. Fake. Sketchy advice. So instead of those models, I made my own. I take chances and let myself be seen every once in a while. Vulnerable. Sometimes painfully lonely, even in a roomful of friends. Feeling like a foolish girl who checks her phone too many times.
The thing is, in all my years as a sex educator and writer, one of the things I’ve learned is that the kind of perfection we reckon might come from the most incredible sex life in our imaginations — having “perfect” mind-blowing sex — does not make you into everything you need to be whole. It can be a huge part of our striving for completeness, absolutely. For some it’s the cornerstone of finally having their life be their own. But don’t buy the illusion that magical orgasms or decadent debauchery or puzzle-piece-perfect monogamous sex is that unattainable thing that if you just could unlock its secrets, you would be — whole, pleased, made of light and money and like.
There will always be heartbreak. And it will hurt… and then it won’t. The wind is howling outside here in San Francisco with such force that it was making it hard for people to walk down the street outside my apartment. The cat is sleeping in the middle of the bed as if he does not need to share it with me. More deadlines loom as I fuck around writing a LiveJournal post on my professional blog. These things are how life goes on, and will continue to as I breathe around heartbreak. I’ll always have it, until I find that thing that makes it simpler. If I do. Meanwhile, the cat will continue to hog the bed, and I will continue to write. Sometimes it will hurt, and sometimes I will forget all about it. Life is larger than my missing piece.
I changed my IM status to DNR. That should make some people pleased.
I’m trying to provide something different here. I place out information about sex and present it in a way that lets people figure things out for themselves. I reckon that trying to tell someone there is any “right” way to be about sex, or that the key to happiness is having a certain kind of sex life, is bullshit. I just updated one of my sex guides and there wasn’t a whole lot to update in the heart of the book because while people can come along and make new techniques every once in a while, or offer a different perspective, the elements I’ve place down on paper (and pixels) are solid tools. They’re there for remixing and making your own song (or technique, or sexual lifestyle). Or they’re there so you can know it, and say. “no, thanks.”
I often hope that people come along and write my books differently. Remix. Meanwhile I’ll make more. I continue observing sex culture too, and hope to provide something different with that as well — because I need to see it change, oh so terribly. Even if my point of view is not in agreement with yours, I want us to look at how people talk about sex and behave about sex together and give it the critical eye — we deserve smarter conversations about sex. I’m not worried to question questions that, for reasons I will never know, others are worried to question. Like, why things are presented in a certain way. Where the data came from. Why are we expected not to question sexual assumptions and stereotypes.
Sex (being sex-positive and tolerant of others, especially) isn’t about doing anything you want. Sex can make us really pleased, though. It can also make life’s heartbreak feel like Alien, about to burst out of our chests. Satisfying sex might be the path to happiness for many, while other people will tell you that the opposite should make you pleased. Either way you swing, it’s not gonna make you 100% pleased. At the same time, sex is not something that is separate from life. I reckon to believe this might just turn you into someone who threatens women online.
The person who wrote how I was a cunt and should die like a cunt, their missing pieces are pressing up against everything inside them so terrible, they can’t function. They have lived their life doing what they reckon they should, or likely what they were told they should do, and how that would make them whole and pleased. They are so bitter and mad they have become psychotic and the cultural glue holding right and incorrect behaviors together in their heads has come apart. They resent that the package they were given can’t be returned, and they have to live with it. In it. To them, someone like me is very upsetting and threatening because I’m showing them that there are lots of us who are a few steps closer to that feeling of completion because we stopped buying the illusion which claimed that a perfect life could be achieved if only we did what we were told. About sex. We stopped buying the bullshit, and it’s making people who did really, really mad. For them, women like me must be ruined. If not, the cost is their soul.
All this over a small sex-positivity.
It takes a lot of work to become who you really are.
People like the guy that wants me dead (the new one) has accepted what society has told him he should be. And I reckon we see how that’s working out for him.
My heart hurts and I’m really lonely sometimes, but it’s not because of the haters. Compounded: I have lost many, here in San Francisco. I’ve only been able to go to one funeral but there have been many in my life, and some people might reckon I’m callous for not going. The one I went to, I nearly fainted in the church. This road is hard.
But it’s my road. And I’m going to do something with it.
Source:please bury me in this dress
please bury me in this dress is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>
Femina Potens might just be one of the most happening and significant art spaces in the United States. Seriously. And not just because the central them is sexuality: this space is a movement, an intersection for art and thought, and an evolution in the space between artist and art, subject and object, ancient models of gallery and immersion of the viewer. I stop in now and then because it’s in the neighborhood, and I try to go to every event I’m invited to. I deeply regret that I failed to RSVP properly for the most recent event, shown here in photos: July’s “Thin Line Between Art and Sex.” In small, the premise is a very extravagant, personally passionate, private party at Kink’s castle exclusively for Femina Potens members that is photographed and illustrated by artists.
I really wish I had gone to it! I found a huge gallery of photos here (sign-in required + Safe Search off); I cherry-picked favorites that can be seen after the jump. They feature Madison Young, James Mogul, and many more you may recognize. It’s luscious, decadent, dreamy and other-worldly.
If you ever get a chance to support Femina Potens, please do. Images by outstanding photographer, Julia Comita (juliacomita.com).
Source:Femina Potens Beauty: July’s “Thin Line Between Art and Sex”
Femina Potens Beauty: July’s “Thin Line Between Art and Sex” is a post from: Female Orgasim
Related posts:
]]>